


Get Out of my HEAD!

by fang1rl_f0rever



Category: Dear Evan Hansen
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, I’m tired, Mild Language, Normal DEH Stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:34:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27922339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fang1rl_f0rever/pseuds/fang1rl_f0rever
Summary: Evan and Connor are soulmates, yadda yadda yadda, telepathically connected, whoo! I’m not very good at writing bio’s, so please just check this out if you’re in the DEH fandom.*WARNING:Mentions of suicideSuicidal thoughtsSelf-harmBullies.If any of these things trigger you, please do not read this book.NOTE:I have never experienced those feelings or thoughts, so please correct me in the places I get wrong when I’m writing about it. Thank you!
Relationships: Connor Murphy/Evan Hansen (Dear Evan Hansen
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Sunshine!

**Author's Note:**

> The bolded text is when they are taking telepathically.

~~ Connor’s ~~ _**P•O•V** _

I’ve always had a voice in my head. It may sound weird, but it’s true! His name is Oak. He calls me Sunshine now that he knows we’re soulmates. He used to call me Disaster, which, tbh, I liked better.   
**Hey, Sunshine, what are you learning in history? I’m learning about Revolution and Enlightenment. I’d rather be studying trees** (see why I call him Oak?) **, but it’s okay. Am I talking too much? Sorry.  
  
**I laugh. **No, you’re fine. The more you talk, the less I have to. Well, I’m not sure, but I think we’re doing French Revolution.**

A ding came from my phone and I glanced at it. **Yep. French Revolution.**

Whenever we learn about a major war, our teacher, Mr. Cancun dresses up for the part. This costume, I would say, topped them all.

**How exciting!**

**I don’t think you’d be saying that if you were in my class.**

I was walking to the bus stop, when Oak replied.   
**I might be in your class. Sometime soon, anyway.  
**I scrunched my face up. **What do you mean?**

 **I’m going to be moving to New York.  
**“WHAT?!” I say aloud. The other kids look at me as though I smelled. Some whispered “he’s such a freak”. I looked down, a knot tightening in my chest. “Sorry.”

**WHAT?!**

**Yeesh, dial it down over there.  
Where?!**

**Brooklyn.  
  
**I was quiet till the bus came, then asked another question. **Do you know which high school you’re going to?**

 **Yeah. It’s Grove High.  
**There is no need to panic. There is no need to panic. I start panicking. What if I don’t recognize him when he gets here? (That’s a ridiculous question. Of course I will. He’s gonna be the one everyone picks on and he’s gonna introduce himself, so why worry about that?) But I still do. What if he won’t like the way I look? (No one does anyways, so why would I care?) What if he’ll be annoyed by how depressed and anxious I am all the time? (My family is already like that, so why would he be any different?) What if...what if he ignores me when I tell him I’m his soulmate?   
No. I would not think that what-if. But there were still so many what-ifs.   
**When are you getting here?**

 **Tomorrow.  
Oh.   
  
**I was distracted for the rest of the day. School wasn’t very exciting, just the usual routine of getting beat into a pulp. It didn’t really change my mood. When I got home, my mom tried to help me get cleaned up, but I pushed her away. Instead, I asked her a question.   
“Mom, were you scared when you finally met dad?”   
She gave me a sad look. “Not everyone has a soulmate honey. I’m glad that you and Zoe even got to have one, even if Zoe just barely got hers.”   
Zoe walked in just then, giving me a weird look. “You’re talking about soulmates? Why?” Her eyes widened. “OHMYGOSH, ARE YOU GONNA MEET YOURS?!”

I sigh, walking up the stairs.

”THIS IS AMAZING! WHATS HIS NAME, AND CAN I MEET HIM?!”

”SHUT UP!” I slam the door to my room, flopping onto my bed. How did she know my soulmate was a guy? Is my gay _that_ easy to notice? I groan. I talk to Oak the rest of the day, keeping myself occupied from my thoughts. I fell asleep with what-ifs circling around my head that night.   
  


~~Thank you for reading this chapter! I hope you liked it!!~~


	2. Oak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NEW YORK TIME. 
> 
> sorry about the absence of myself, I have been distracted with depression and homework, but here is a chapter. It is not at all what I was planning to do, but please do enjoy.

**_Evan’s P•O•V_ **

We woke up early to leave. The drive was boring, but at least I got to see amazing scenery, and I was able to daydream and talk to Sunshine more. Mom would talk to me sometimes, like now. 

“Sooo,” mom glanced over at me. “Are you excited to see your soulmate? I bet he’s adorable.” 

“H-how did you know my soulmate i-is..-“

“A guy?” She smiled. “I picked up on some things. Do you know his name? I remember you talking about Chris when you were younger? Or Connor. I don’t know, but you definitely started with a C.”

“Uhm, well, I kind of… forgot his name?” I said apologetically. “I call him sunshine though, ‘cause he’s kind of the sunshine to my oak.”

I laugh at my own joke. That was so cheesy. I look over at mom, who’s grinning ear to ear, and my face flushes. I groan, dropping my head into my hands. 

Well, my mom knows about us now. Well, technically she’s always known. Is that okay? 

Oh yeah, it’s fine. I kind of told my mom and sister, and now my sister is about ready to explode from excitement. That wouldn’t be a bad alternative, but then I wouldn’t be able to steal her eyeliner. 

That’s exciting, I laugh. 

Tell me about it… how’s the trip going? 

Not the best trip I’ve ever taken. It’s really cramped. 

Awe, I’m sorry babe. 

I blush. He’s never called me babe, unless he’s high, but he sounds pretty normal to me. 

Are you high?

Uhhh…. no. I don’t think so…. hold on. 

There was a pause. 

Zoe says I’m always high, but I don’t believe her, so I’mma say no. No, I am not high. Why do you ask?

Oh. Well, it’s just t-that you’ve never c-called me babe, unless you’re h-high, I’m s-sorry, it was rude of me to a-ask, I shouldn’t have asked you about it, I-I’m sorry. 

Hey, no, it’s okay, you can ask me anything, at any time.

Okay, well uhm, would it be okay if I called you babe too?

He was probably blushing. I wonder what he looked like when he got all flustered. He must look really cute. 

I can’t wait to meet you, I sigh, looking out the window. If only teleporting was a thing, then I could’ve met him a thousand years ago. 

I can’t wait to meet you too.

It was around midnight when we got to the house. I was really tired, but mom forced me to help her unpack all the necessary things first. I fell asleep thinking about how school was gonna go, and how meeting Sunshine would turn out. 

*****

“Shit,” I mumbled silently as I looked around. Where was I? Near the cafeteria? Near the front? Was I even on the first floor? How could I have gotten so lost already?

I looked at my map again, starting to walk, when I bumped into someone, dropping my map. 

“Sorry, sorry! I didn’t mean to-“ I looked up at the guy who bumped into me and caught my breath. I noticed I had been staring at him for a while, and I looked down, my cheeks blazing. “I-I’m sorry, I d-didn’t mean to bump i-into you.”

I leaned down, picking up my map, pretending to be interested in it, but that failed, so I looked back up at him. His light blue eyes twinkled with amusement, even though the rest of his face didn’t even move a muscle. 

His shoulder-length brown hair had fallen into his face, making him look very handsome. What was I supposed to do again? I looked down at my map. Oh, right. 

“Well, I’d better get going,” I chuckle nervously, stepping backwards. 

“You're lost, aren’t you?” He said suddenly. I froze, and nodded. “Which room?” 

“Uh,” I looked at my schedule. “Twelve-fifty-B.”

“Oh, that’s my class. Come on,” then he walked away **(then he waddled awaAay)**.

I started, catching up to him. I thought of something, and the corners of my lips lifted. 

When are we gonna meet? 

Wait, you’re here already? The boy glanced over at me. 

Yeah. 

Oh, okay, well, could we meet tomorrow after school, at about….4, at the Treebros Grove?  **(*laugh* you’re welcome)**

Sure! 

Okay great. 

I smiled a bit more, then stifled it when the boy glanced over again. 

“My name’s Connor, by the way.”


End file.
